Turns Out I'm STILL Not a French Woman!

Why can't this be me?
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Why can’t this be me?

I’m surprised, and sort of outraged, that I’m still not a French woman. True, I don’t smoke, but I only shave my underarms sporadically so that should even things out. In fact, when my corpse is found I’m sure my underarms, and undergarments, and my closet crammed  with . . . → Read More: Turns Out I’m STILL Not a French Woman!

Celebrate "Wear Something Gaudy Day"

Meadham-Kirchhoff-SS-2012
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 “You can never be overdressed or overeducated.” – Oscar Wilde

I’ve heard some folks insist “Every day is Mother’s Day” but for me, October 17th celebrates an occasion I feel should not be relegated to just one measly day a year. I refer, of course, to “Wear Something Gaudy Day”.

October 17th . . . → Read More: October 17th Celebrate “Wear Something Gaudy Day”

If I Had a Ribbon Bow (aka Why I Need a 37th Little Black Dress)

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Lately I’ve been having all kinds of epiphanies up in here. Not “meaning of life” stuff, but staggeringly obvious insights that mostly annoy me with their tardy blatant-ness. Some are unimportant, of the “Hey, it is a soul-deadening waste of time to keep up with the Kardashians!” variety, but others are more substantive.

Ever . . . → Read More: If I Had a Ribbon Bow (aka Why I Need a 37th Little Black Dress)

I've Got a Cherry on My Back

My Cherry Miu Mui Sandals
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I have long been powerless against the cherry. Not the kind you eat, the kind you wear. For reasons not entirely clear to me, from time to time clothing manufacturers and designers put cherries on dresses, blouses, purses, barrettes, shoes and I don’t seem to be able to help buying these fruit-festooned garments. I’m . . . → Read More: I’ve Got a Cherry on My Back

I'm So Pathetically Not French

When I was a girl I loved to get those little booklets they sold by the cash register at the supermarket. I’d read and re-read all the “1,000 Baby Names” books. Even now, decades later, I know dozens of useful facts like Ellen means light, Thurston (as in Howell) means Thor’s stone, and that Sally is a diminutive of Sarah which in turn means princess. I never tired of naming my dozens of unborn future children; Clementine, Eudora (well-born), Tristan (Old Welsh for sad) and Tallulah (Native American for fabulous throaty bisexual) were serious contenders. Now of course the joke’s on me since I don’t even have one child to tar with one of my many monikers.

Why can't this be me?

But my all-time favorite 39 cent booklet was the wee “What Real-Life French Women Wear”. (That may not have been the actual name but that was the theme.) Being in third grade and all I couldn’t implement the advice right away, but one thing has stuck with me all these years. Stuck with me, but sadly eluded me.

It said the typical French woman had only about 5 things in her closet. The point was that French women are smart and sophisticated enough to just buy a few really good things and wear them every day in various permutations. I pictured a pristine closet with a few paltry hangers bearing only a black pencil skirt, a crisp white shirt, a good-quality black turtleneck, an LBD of course, one pair of always well-pressed pants, and one of those stripe-y sailor-y shirts Jean-Paul Gaultier is always wearing. The lesson was quality over quantity, and that sorting out some sort of uniform was the easiest, quickest and best way to dress. Continue reading I’m So Pathetically Not French

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